1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,161 It's gonna drag you back in. 2 00:00:01,161 --> 00:00:02,432 What's he doing here, man? 3 00:00:02,432 --> 00:00:04,116 You don't just escape this life, brother. 4 00:00:04,952 --> 00:00:05,785 Cal, what you doing? 5 00:00:05,785 --> 00:00:06,846 What are you doing, Cal? 6 00:00:06,846 --> 00:00:08,507 Telling random girls you've got 30K worth 7 00:00:08,507 --> 00:00:09,818 of coke in your car. 8 00:00:09,818 --> 00:00:11,272 It's my car now, blood. 9 00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:12,624 You two set me up, man. 10 00:00:12,624 --> 00:00:13,714 You're a dead, man! 11 00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:14,711 And you, bro. 12 00:00:14,711 --> 00:00:16,035 Azaar, I didn't have nothing to do with this. 13 00:00:16,035 --> 00:00:18,160 - No, you're a liar. - Mobeen... 14 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:19,691 Cuz! 15 00:00:19,691 --> 00:00:21,145 Mobeen, shall I shoot him? 16 00:00:21,145 --> 00:00:22,015 Give me the strap. 17 00:00:22,015 --> 00:00:23,265 Go, go, go, go. 18 00:00:52,448 --> 00:00:53,996 It's staring at me. 19 00:00:53,996 --> 00:00:56,134 Trust me, if they bite you, you get Ebola. 20 00:00:56,134 --> 00:00:57,578 What you on about? 21 00:00:57,578 --> 00:01:00,293 It's a dog, not a wild Congolese bat, Eight, yeah? 22 00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:01,949 And anyway, what are you panicking for? 23 00:01:01,949 --> 00:01:03,168 These things are friendly, look. 24 00:01:03,168 --> 00:01:04,297 Hello, baby boy. 25 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,919 This is not how you turn 16. 26 00:01:08,919 --> 00:01:10,787 How do you wanna celebrate your 16th birthday? 27 00:01:10,787 --> 00:01:11,620 Go on. 28 00:01:11,620 --> 00:01:14,230 A good birthday is being at a Tekashi69 concert, 29 00:01:14,230 --> 00:01:17,322 mosh pitting to "Billy," whilst screaming "Scum Gang." 30 00:01:17,322 --> 00:01:18,830 Who's the 6in9ine Tekashi now? 31 00:01:18,830 --> 00:01:20,295 Mate I have no idea. 32 00:01:20,295 --> 00:01:22,752 But, what happened to the good old days of hip hop, innit? 33 00:01:22,752 --> 00:01:24,581 Fiddy and Tupac. 34 00:01:24,581 --> 00:01:26,510 ♪ Only God can judge me now ♪ 35 00:01:26,510 --> 00:01:27,343 Yeah. 36 00:01:27,343 --> 00:01:28,722 But why did he turn into Barry White 37 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:29,997 on certain words and that? 38 00:01:29,997 --> 00:01:31,328 Family. 39 00:01:31,328 --> 00:01:32,994 Enemies. - Enemies. 40 00:01:34,217 --> 00:01:36,116 I guess we're stuck here 'cause we're broke. 41 00:01:36,116 --> 00:01:37,643 Listen, listen, we're not broke, yeah? 42 00:01:37,643 --> 00:01:39,299 This is one of the premier places to be 43 00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:41,913 in Brum on a Friday night. 44 00:01:41,913 --> 00:01:42,746 Oh, wow. 45 00:01:46,004 --> 00:01:47,402 Living the dream. 46 00:01:47,402 --> 00:01:48,319 Yay for me. 47 00:01:49,953 --> 00:01:52,678 Been queuing up for ages, man. 48 00:01:52,678 --> 00:01:54,878 You hate queuing up. 49 00:01:54,878 --> 00:01:56,696 Something ain't adding up. 50 00:01:56,696 --> 00:01:58,087 Well, everything adds up. 51 00:01:58,087 --> 00:01:59,231 Everything adds up. 52 00:01:59,231 --> 00:02:00,218 Is she here? 53 00:02:00,218 --> 00:02:01,051 Huh? 54 00:02:01,051 --> 00:02:01,884 Who's she? 55 00:02:01,884 --> 00:02:02,717 I don't know who she is. 56 00:02:02,717 --> 00:02:04,501 You know who she is, that Welsh hoe. 57 00:02:04,501 --> 00:02:06,155 Don't call her that. 58 00:02:06,155 --> 00:02:07,337 Oh, I'm sorry. 59 00:02:07,337 --> 00:02:09,619 Did I offend you and you're hoe-ass hoe? 60 00:02:11,079 --> 00:02:12,835 Move. 61 00:02:12,835 --> 00:02:14,006 Beg your pardon. 62 00:02:14,006 --> 00:02:15,393 Vernon was keeping our place in the queue. 63 00:02:15,393 --> 00:02:16,960 Now we're back, so move. 64 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,460 Who's Vernon now? 65 00:02:18,460 --> 00:02:19,360 My dog. 66 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:23,248 Your dog was keeping your place in a queue? 67 00:02:23,248 --> 00:02:25,098 I don't think dogs can legally do that. 68 00:02:25,098 --> 00:02:26,348 You're being very stupid. 69 00:02:26,348 --> 00:02:27,439 Sorry, I'm being stupid? 70 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,348 Just get the fuck out of our way, gob-shite. 71 00:02:29,348 --> 00:02:32,385 ♪ Happy birthday to me ♪ 72 00:02:32,385 --> 00:02:34,583 Would you please mind having a word with your lovely lady, 73 00:02:34,583 --> 00:02:35,885 if that's all right? 74 00:02:35,885 --> 00:02:38,959 Lisa is a strong and independent woman. 75 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,272 I would never try to control her. 76 00:02:41,272 --> 00:02:42,547 You're scared of her, aren't you? 77 00:02:42,547 --> 00:02:43,630 - Yeah. - Oi! 78 00:02:44,573 --> 00:02:45,655 Listen, yeah? 79 00:02:45,655 --> 00:02:47,755 This is the real world, not a fantasy island 80 00:02:47,755 --> 00:02:50,605 where Vernon the Alsatian has a national insurance number, 81 00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:52,455 works night shifts at Costco, 82 00:02:52,455 --> 00:02:54,369 and keeps places in queues. 83 00:02:54,369 --> 00:02:56,042 So, nah, we ain't going nowhere, tell her. 84 00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:57,083 Leave now. 85 00:02:57,083 --> 00:02:58,305 What you gonna do? 86 00:02:58,305 --> 00:02:59,730 Call the queue police, yeah? 87 00:02:59,730 --> 00:03:01,647 You lot make me sick. 88 00:03:06,370 --> 00:03:07,703 It's too much. 89 00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:11,166 Yeah... 90 00:03:12,291 --> 00:03:13,795 Could you go away? 91 00:03:13,795 --> 00:03:15,238 What, you want me to go? 92 00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:16,920 - You should. - Actually, yeah. 93 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:17,753 Huh? 94 00:03:17,753 --> 00:03:18,848 Go. 95 00:03:18,848 --> 00:03:21,073 Yeah, that's what I thought. 96 00:03:21,073 --> 00:03:22,031 She's nice. 97 00:03:22,031 --> 00:03:23,534 I ain't scared... 98 00:03:23,534 --> 00:03:24,580 I ain't scared of no... 99 00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:25,780 I ain't scared of nobody, innit? 100 00:03:25,780 --> 00:03:28,081 You better take your dog, Lisa, and go. 101 00:03:28,081 --> 00:03:30,090 Yeah, get me. 102 00:03:30,090 --> 00:03:31,917 Attack, Vernon. 103 00:03:31,917 --> 00:03:32,750 No! 104 00:03:41,290 --> 00:03:42,123 Allah! 105 00:03:50,988 --> 00:03:53,571 He knocked out Vernon. 106 00:03:55,112 --> 00:03:56,237 Whoa. 107 00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:57,387 I'm calling the police. 108 00:03:57,387 --> 00:03:58,317 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 109 00:03:58,317 --> 00:04:00,237 Look, there's about 15 different phones, yeah, 110 00:04:00,237 --> 00:04:02,572 that recorded you telling your dog to attack us, 111 00:04:02,572 --> 00:04:04,744 so if you don't wanna go to jail for a very long time, 112 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:07,471 you should probably take Vernon and do one. 113 00:04:07,471 --> 00:04:09,323 Yeah, do one. 114 00:04:09,323 --> 00:04:11,564 This just really upset me. 115 00:04:12,798 --> 00:04:14,170 Is he all right, though? 116 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,905 Yeah, I'm fine. 117 00:04:19,691 --> 00:04:21,808 Get up, Vernon. 118 00:04:21,808 --> 00:04:23,308 You lot are weird. 119 00:04:26,153 --> 00:04:27,570 Happy birthday. 120 00:04:32,177 --> 00:04:34,266 Crazy golf's shit anyway. 121 00:04:46,054 --> 00:04:46,887 Mobeena. 122 00:04:47,791 --> 00:04:49,298 That was going in. 123 00:04:49,298 --> 00:04:52,391 That was the best thing I've ever seen in my life. 124 00:04:52,391 --> 00:04:53,589 No, it wasn't, man. 125 00:04:53,589 --> 00:04:55,491 I feel like one of the bad guys out of John Wick. 126 00:04:55,491 --> 00:04:56,480 Yeah, you are. 127 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,908 Why you so happy about that? 128 00:04:58,908 --> 00:05:00,836 Hello, Aqsa. 129 00:05:00,836 --> 00:05:02,010 Hi, guys. 130 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,245 Oh, hey, Miss Aitken. 131 00:05:03,245 --> 00:05:04,395 You all right? 132 00:05:04,395 --> 00:05:05,952 What have you been up to? 133 00:05:05,952 --> 00:05:08,165 Golf with you lot and one of my teachers. 134 00:05:08,165 --> 00:05:09,402 Brilliant birthday. 135 00:05:09,402 --> 00:05:11,095 Much better than the birthdays I had growing up. 136 00:05:11,095 --> 00:05:11,928 Yeah. 137 00:05:11,928 --> 00:05:13,735 Maybe we see if the headmaster wants to come, too? 138 00:05:13,735 --> 00:05:15,235 Excuse me, young lady. 139 00:05:15,235 --> 00:05:16,422 What's got into you? 140 00:05:16,422 --> 00:05:17,780 I'm gonna go and get a massive sugar rush 141 00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:19,280 off a slush puppy. 142 00:05:20,913 --> 00:05:22,487 Speaking of puppies, yeah. 143 00:05:22,487 --> 00:05:23,763 Do you know Mobeen- 144 00:05:23,763 --> 00:05:25,063 Ah, I love little dogs. 145 00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:25,896 Tiny ones. 146 00:05:25,896 --> 00:05:28,977 Yeah, he would never punch a puppy in the face. 147 00:05:28,977 --> 00:05:31,981 Anyway, how about we get some competition 148 00:05:31,981 --> 00:05:33,338 flowing up in here? 149 00:05:33,338 --> 00:05:35,539 Playing pairs and that, a little two-on-two? 150 00:05:35,539 --> 00:05:36,524 Probably not. 151 00:05:36,524 --> 00:05:38,024 Miss Aitken, yeah? 152 00:05:38,894 --> 00:05:39,727 Great. 153 00:05:45,477 --> 00:05:47,477 Get your own golf bat! 154 00:05:51,502 --> 00:05:53,002 Within a couple of weeks 155 00:05:53,002 --> 00:05:54,964 I'll be Aqsa's official legal guardian, 156 00:05:54,964 --> 00:05:56,902 because I'm smooth like that. 157 00:05:56,902 --> 00:05:58,413 Oh, my God. 158 00:05:58,413 --> 00:05:59,246 Yeah, I know. 159 00:05:59,246 --> 00:06:00,137 It's crazy, innit? 160 00:06:00,137 --> 00:06:01,528 It is crazy. 161 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,779 That a legal professional's gonna make you her guardian. 162 00:06:04,779 --> 00:06:07,916 She adores you, she just might not tell you. 163 00:06:07,916 --> 00:06:09,083 I can see why. 164 00:06:11,878 --> 00:06:12,711 Yeah. 165 00:06:13,852 --> 00:06:15,314 Listen, I'm a real G out here, 166 00:06:15,314 --> 00:06:16,914 so I can't be doing that romance stuff, 167 00:06:16,914 --> 00:06:18,102 you know what I mean? 168 00:06:18,102 --> 00:06:18,935 You? 169 00:06:18,935 --> 00:06:20,399 You're about as gangster as the guy from Eton 170 00:06:20,399 --> 00:06:21,799 who owns this place. 171 00:06:21,799 --> 00:06:25,097 Culture-appropriating bastard. 172 00:06:25,097 --> 00:06:26,159 Oh! 173 00:06:26,159 --> 00:06:26,992 Hey! 174 00:06:28,691 --> 00:06:30,141 So listen, Miss. 175 00:06:30,141 --> 00:06:32,094 What do you say, me and you tomorrow, 176 00:06:32,094 --> 00:06:34,539 another round of cultural appropriation? 177 00:06:34,539 --> 00:06:35,497 Hmm, no? 178 00:06:35,497 --> 00:06:36,330 No. 179 00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:37,163 No, okay. 180 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,311 Yeah, that's fine. 181 00:06:38,311 --> 00:06:39,863 Go for a coffee though. 182 00:06:39,863 --> 00:06:40,847 Yeah? 183 00:06:40,847 --> 00:06:43,035 What about that fancy coffee shop across the road? 184 00:06:43,035 --> 00:06:44,776 The one where all the wankers go? 185 00:06:44,776 --> 00:06:46,560 All the wankers go there, yeah. 186 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:47,643 Deal. 187 00:06:47,643 --> 00:06:48,476 Yo, listen. 188 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:49,896 If we're gonna shake on this, 189 00:06:49,896 --> 00:06:51,509 then we trade a family handshake, yeah? 190 00:06:51,509 --> 00:06:53,248 It's legally binding, so just be aware of that. 191 00:06:53,248 --> 00:06:56,948 Bring your hand in, close it, burns, 192 00:06:56,948 --> 00:06:58,690 and a little finger wiggle a lot. 193 00:06:58,690 --> 00:06:59,523 Huh? 194 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,378 Mobeena! 195 00:07:01,378 --> 00:07:03,153 What are you doing, you kuta? 196 00:07:03,153 --> 00:07:05,740 You take that handshake back this instant, Mobeen Deen. 197 00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:08,563 Allah can see what you're doing, you tramp. 198 00:07:08,563 --> 00:07:09,396 Yeah. 199 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,058 Mosque committee is proper strict about this stuff so... 200 00:07:11,058 --> 00:07:12,474 - Sure. - I'll see you tomorrow, yeah? 201 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:13,691 - See you. - Cool. 202 00:07:13,691 --> 00:07:16,119 What you shouting for, huh? 203 00:07:16,119 --> 00:07:17,835 You're a kuta. 204 00:07:17,835 --> 00:07:18,942 Hey, Nate, hey. 205 00:07:18,942 --> 00:07:19,775 Mobeena. 206 00:07:19,775 --> 00:07:21,592 Can't even spell loyalty. 207 00:07:21,592 --> 00:07:23,119 Can you? 208 00:07:23,119 --> 00:07:24,194 L... 209 00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:25,782 No. 210 00:07:25,782 --> 00:07:26,615 Listen. 211 00:07:26,615 --> 00:07:27,673 Hey, hey, yo, yo, hey. 212 00:07:27,673 --> 00:07:28,506 What's wrong? 213 00:07:28,506 --> 00:07:29,448 I'm not good enough for you. 214 00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:30,406 - Sorry? - Um, guys. 215 00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:32,444 Maybe I should speak in a Welsh accent, boyo. 216 00:07:32,444 --> 00:07:33,277 Sorry? 217 00:07:33,277 --> 00:07:35,619 Maybe we should do a special handshake, boyo. 218 00:07:35,619 --> 00:07:37,242 Okay, yeah, let's do the family handshake 219 00:07:37,242 --> 00:07:38,107 if that stops this. 220 00:07:38,107 --> 00:07:38,940 Come on. 221 00:07:38,940 --> 00:07:39,773 Oh, shut up. 222 00:07:39,773 --> 00:07:40,886 Have a look at this. 223 00:07:40,886 --> 00:07:43,036 Mobeen punching Vernon's gone viral. 224 00:07:43,036 --> 00:07:43,869 Huh? 225 00:07:45,886 --> 00:07:47,061 Vernon! 226 00:07:47,061 --> 00:07:47,978 Oh, yeah! 227 00:07:49,025 --> 00:07:51,387 That is really, really, really not very good. 228 00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,750 Do you know what this means? 229 00:07:52,750 --> 00:07:54,479 Yeah, I'm going jail for canine GBH. 230 00:07:54,479 --> 00:07:55,387 That's what it means. 231 00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:57,212 Nah, we're gonna be famous. 232 00:07:57,212 --> 00:07:58,045 Yes! 233 00:07:58,045 --> 00:07:59,023 Oh, my days. 234 00:07:59,023 --> 00:08:00,498 What are you gonna do with all the money? 235 00:08:00,498 --> 00:08:02,386 Being a viral superstar, I could take my pick. 236 00:08:02,386 --> 00:08:04,974 You should get a Rolls-Royce Phantom on 44's. 237 00:08:04,974 --> 00:08:06,400 I want to get a trampoline, yeah, 238 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,950 but it's in the ground, innit, 239 00:08:07,950 --> 00:08:10,875 'cause the other one I get scared that I'll fall off. 240 00:08:10,875 --> 00:08:13,208 But it's made of gold, so... 241 00:08:16,088 --> 00:08:19,038 Trigger, Rodney, Boyce, you're on a Facebook page 242 00:08:19,038 --> 00:08:20,556 with 8,000 followers, yeah. 243 00:08:20,556 --> 00:08:22,063 You're not in the next Avengers. 244 00:08:22,063 --> 00:08:23,151 Not yet, we're not. 245 00:08:23,151 --> 00:08:24,825 All it took was a bit of hypothetical money 246 00:08:24,825 --> 00:08:27,008 for you lot to lose your minds out here. 247 00:08:27,008 --> 00:08:28,628 Listen, when I had all that money, 248 00:08:28,628 --> 00:08:30,114 didn't I hold it down for you lot? 249 00:08:30,114 --> 00:08:31,370 Wish you still had that money. 250 00:08:31,370 --> 00:08:32,305 No, you don't. 251 00:08:32,305 --> 00:08:33,138 Haram money. 252 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:33,971 Try me. 253 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,480 Mobes is right, we don't need the money. 254 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:36,705 We've got each other. 255 00:08:36,705 --> 00:08:38,442 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 256 00:08:38,442 --> 00:08:40,775 And we're Facebook famous. 257 00:08:42,206 --> 00:08:43,253 Give me that video. 258 00:08:43,253 --> 00:08:45,767 Let me see that clip. 259 00:08:46,955 --> 00:08:48,067 Vernon! 260 00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:49,555 Look at this poor dog. 261 00:08:49,555 --> 00:08:50,847 How do I get this taken down? 262 00:08:50,847 --> 00:08:51,680 Poor dog? 263 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:52,805 It was going to kill me. 264 00:08:52,805 --> 00:08:54,055 Why do you want it taken down? 265 00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:54,905 It's wicked. 266 00:08:54,905 --> 00:08:57,505 Because, lala, stupid people will see that 267 00:08:57,505 --> 00:08:59,680 on the internet and copycat it. 268 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:02,180 I think he mean copy-dog it. 269 00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:06,568 It's had another 200 views since we've been stood here. 270 00:09:06,568 --> 00:09:09,430 ♪ My left stroke just went viral ♪ 271 00:09:09,430 --> 00:09:10,660 ♪ It's viral ♪ 272 00:09:10,660 --> 00:09:11,869 Stop. 273 00:09:11,869 --> 00:09:13,604 No, no, no, yeah. 274 00:09:13,604 --> 00:09:16,929 Listen, the internet is a fake and dangerous place, yeah? 275 00:09:16,929 --> 00:09:18,223 Back to the real world, please. 276 00:09:18,223 --> 00:09:19,186 Let's go home. 277 00:09:19,186 --> 00:09:20,019 Home, let's go. 278 00:09:20,019 --> 00:09:20,852 Come on. 279 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:22,100 I'm gonna get this shit taken down. 280 00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:23,951 Hate it when he does his dad voice. 281 00:09:23,951 --> 00:09:25,829 Shall we watch it again? 282 00:09:25,829 --> 00:09:27,276 Yeah. 283 00:09:28,451 --> 00:09:30,009 Oh! 284 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:07,245 I really need your help, Uncle Shady. 285 00:10:07,245 --> 00:10:10,495 You and your tits had better come in. 286 00:10:14,383 --> 00:10:15,383 Thank you. 287 00:10:18,411 --> 00:10:21,459 Don't you try to break my fucking door again. 288 00:10:21,459 --> 00:10:22,292 I didn't. 289 00:10:22,292 --> 00:10:23,125 I'm sorry. 290 00:10:23,125 --> 00:10:24,958 Virgin muni. 291 00:10:26,745 --> 00:10:28,120 So, what do you reckon? 292 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,895 Can you get rid of this video for me, Uncle Shady? 293 00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:30,935 Like forever. 294 00:10:30,935 --> 00:10:32,008 Definitely. 295 00:10:32,008 --> 00:10:33,045 Oh, thank you. 296 00:10:33,045 --> 00:10:34,383 Vernon! 297 00:10:40,308 --> 00:10:41,622 Vernon! 298 00:10:45,059 --> 00:10:46,723 Vernon! 299 00:10:51,411 --> 00:10:53,911 Can you get rid of it now then? 300 00:10:54,961 --> 00:10:57,734 Don't rush me, bastard. 301 00:10:57,734 --> 00:10:59,349 It's such a good video. 302 00:10:59,349 --> 00:11:03,932 This is the best thing you ever done in your shit life. 303 00:11:14,364 --> 00:11:15,364 Tickle here. 304 00:11:16,730 --> 00:11:17,813 Tickle there. 305 00:11:18,805 --> 00:11:20,305 Tickle everywhere. 306 00:11:21,892 --> 00:11:23,192 It's done. 307 00:11:23,192 --> 00:11:24,025 Oh! 308 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,492 Thank you so much, Uncle Shady. 309 00:11:27,492 --> 00:11:28,905 You're welcome, bastard. 310 00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:30,709 Oh, thank you. 311 00:11:30,709 --> 00:11:32,580 Have you seen this version? 312 00:11:32,580 --> 00:11:33,777 What version? 313 00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,392 This one. 314 00:11:36,225 --> 00:11:37,917 Vernon! 315 00:11:37,917 --> 00:11:40,642 Someone's put an ISIS flag in that video. 316 00:11:40,642 --> 00:11:44,180 And the caption says "Death to infidels." 317 00:11:45,877 --> 00:11:49,317 What kind of sicko makes a video like that? 318 00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:50,409 Me. 319 00:11:53,286 --> 00:11:55,686 Can you get rid of that version as well then, please? 320 00:11:55,686 --> 00:11:58,769 I will give this a few more moment. 321 00:12:00,151 --> 00:12:02,901 You've punched a dog in the face. 322 00:12:04,861 --> 00:12:06,445 Wait until Lydia sees this. 323 00:12:06,445 --> 00:12:08,985 She will definitely going to have sex with me. 324 00:12:08,985 --> 00:12:09,818 No. 325 00:12:11,260 --> 00:12:13,510 Have you got any Johnnys? 326 00:12:17,162 --> 00:12:18,495 Vernon! 327 00:12:45,216 --> 00:12:46,049 Yo. 328 00:12:51,017 --> 00:12:52,227 Yo, listen. 329 00:12:52,227 --> 00:12:54,767 Confirmation on a full wankery vibe in here. 330 00:12:54,767 --> 00:12:55,847 Flippin' heck! 331 00:12:55,847 --> 00:12:57,084 I don't think you're in a position 332 00:12:57,084 --> 00:12:58,811 to be judging anyone, Mobeen. 333 00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:01,654 I can say without a doubt that this is unsettling, yeah. 334 00:13:01,654 --> 00:13:02,669 Sorry. 335 00:13:02,669 --> 00:13:04,989 Going viral for punching a dog in the head 336 00:13:04,989 --> 00:13:06,499 is not unsettling for you? 337 00:13:06,499 --> 00:13:07,332 Oh, shit. 338 00:13:07,332 --> 00:13:08,739 It's probably what the dog thought 339 00:13:08,739 --> 00:13:11,505 when it saw your fist heading towards its cranium. 340 00:13:11,505 --> 00:13:14,249 Listen, I feel terrible about what happened to that dog, 341 00:13:14,249 --> 00:13:16,591 but it was gonna eat my little sister. 342 00:13:16,591 --> 00:13:17,776 Oh, come on. 343 00:13:17,776 --> 00:13:18,713 What? 344 00:13:18,713 --> 00:13:21,254 Listen, if Vernon the Alsatian was gonna take a chunk 345 00:13:21,254 --> 00:13:22,784 out of your nan's hip replacement, 346 00:13:22,784 --> 00:13:24,656 you'd just let him get his pedigree chum on, yeah? 347 00:13:24,656 --> 00:13:26,082 Obviously not. 348 00:13:26,082 --> 00:13:28,769 Plus my nan's dead, so. 349 00:13:28,769 --> 00:13:30,769 Wasn't Vernon, was it? 350 00:13:32,441 --> 00:13:34,012 Shut up, you idiot. 351 00:13:34,012 --> 00:13:37,156 No, listen, man, that clip is completely out of context. 352 00:13:37,156 --> 00:13:38,497 If you want the truth of what happened, 353 00:13:38,497 --> 00:13:40,248 come to me, I'll tell you. 354 00:13:40,248 --> 00:13:43,459 And what about the comments, are those the truth? 355 00:13:43,459 --> 00:13:44,761 What comments? 356 00:13:44,761 --> 00:13:46,900 Sha-wa g'won, G. 357 00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:48,067 Who are you? 358 00:13:49,259 --> 00:13:51,017 MC Bromsgrove. 359 00:13:51,017 --> 00:13:52,350 MC Bromsgrove? 360 00:13:53,661 --> 00:13:55,582 Bromsgrove, as in the area of Birmingham 361 00:13:55,582 --> 00:13:57,477 with the most elderly care homes, yeah? 362 00:13:57,477 --> 00:14:00,677 Listen, man, it's hard out there, you know. 363 00:14:00,677 --> 00:14:02,718 I'm sure it's hard for these OAP's. 364 00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:04,904 There's real gangster shit out there in Bromsgrove, yeah. 365 00:14:04,904 --> 00:14:06,961 But if you don't mind, we're having a moment here, 366 00:14:06,961 --> 00:14:08,372 so can you just... 367 00:14:08,372 --> 00:14:09,205 Oh! 368 00:14:09,205 --> 00:14:10,368 Oh, yeah, you're with shortly and that, yeah. 369 00:14:10,368 --> 00:14:11,355 I see you. 370 00:14:11,355 --> 00:14:12,188 Nice. 371 00:14:13,465 --> 00:14:14,298 Yo! 372 00:14:14,298 --> 00:14:17,125 I just wanted to give you my new "Grimy-P," innit. 373 00:14:17,125 --> 00:14:18,083 Why? 374 00:14:18,083 --> 00:14:19,957 Well, you're a hard hitter out here, yeah. 375 00:14:19,957 --> 00:14:23,682 Everyone knows that this week, woof, yeah? 376 00:14:23,682 --> 00:14:26,702 Big man, I don't punch dogs in the head for fun, yeah? 377 00:14:26,702 --> 00:14:28,644 And what's the correlation between that 378 00:14:28,644 --> 00:14:30,717 and you giving me a "Grimy-P," anyway? 379 00:14:30,717 --> 00:14:32,432 Well, I just thought you could share it 380 00:14:32,432 --> 00:14:34,712 with all the other OG's down in the hood, yeah. 381 00:14:34,712 --> 00:14:35,908 Okay, yeah. 382 00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:38,537 We'll listen to it whilst we egg and flour the RSPCA. 383 00:14:38,537 --> 00:14:40,120 See you then, yeah? 384 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,831 That's what the Internet does to people. 385 00:14:43,831 --> 00:14:45,899 Listen, Mobeen, it's not the ridiculous comments. 386 00:14:45,899 --> 00:14:47,132 It's the ones that say, 387 00:14:47,132 --> 00:14:48,865 "Someone better take this clip down 388 00:14:48,865 --> 00:14:50,938 because Mobeen will shoot you in the face." 389 00:14:50,938 --> 00:14:52,838 And what about half the kids in my school saying, 390 00:14:52,838 --> 00:14:54,346 "Mobeen's going to have to stop selling 391 00:14:54,346 --> 00:14:56,049 all the drugs in Small Heath when he gets viral"? 392 00:14:56,049 --> 00:14:56,882 Yeah, but- 393 00:14:56,882 --> 00:14:58,420 Oh, yeah, and this one. 394 00:14:58,420 --> 00:15:00,276 "Mobeen spent time in prison already. 395 00:15:00,276 --> 00:15:03,073 He better get ready for another stretch." 396 00:15:03,073 --> 00:15:04,951 So what, you believe all the things that your kids 397 00:15:04,951 --> 00:15:06,481 write on the internet, yeah? 398 00:15:06,481 --> 00:15:08,532 No, but you're telling me there's no truth 399 00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:10,001 in this whatsoever? 400 00:15:10,001 --> 00:15:11,236 There a little bit of truth. 401 00:15:11,236 --> 00:15:12,234 Partially, a little bit. 402 00:15:12,234 --> 00:15:13,182 Partially? 403 00:15:13,182 --> 00:15:14,501 Yeah, what? 404 00:15:14,501 --> 00:15:15,349 Oh! 405 00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,992 Mobeen, I am your sister's teacher. 406 00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:20,129 I need to know what I'm getting myself into here. 407 00:15:20,129 --> 00:15:21,532 Getting yourself into? 408 00:15:21,532 --> 00:15:22,613 I'm not a bear trap. 409 00:15:22,613 --> 00:15:24,298 You're not getting yourself into any... 410 00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:25,385 Yo, my G, I just... 411 00:15:25,385 --> 00:15:26,218 I couldn't resist. 412 00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:29,185 Please just let me spit, like, 16 bars to you man. 413 00:15:29,185 --> 00:15:31,428 My guy, now is not the right time. 414 00:15:31,428 --> 00:15:36,428 We see this one from the prospective of the dog, yeah? 415 00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:39,092 Look, Mobeen, I'm not saying you're a trap. 416 00:15:39,092 --> 00:15:40,961 ♪ Time for the revenge on the part of the hound ♪ 417 00:15:40,961 --> 00:15:43,376 ♪ I'm gonna bite more beats so man can't get found ♪ 418 00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,426 ♪ Or in the gat ♪ 419 00:15:44,426 --> 00:15:46,151 ♪ Don't be a cat, grat-at-at-at-at ♪ 420 00:15:46,151 --> 00:15:47,220 I really like you. 421 00:15:47,220 --> 00:15:48,431 I just, I need to know. 422 00:15:48,431 --> 00:15:49,692 ♪ RSPCA, do one ♪ 423 00:15:49,692 --> 00:15:51,396 You sound like... ♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom ♪ 424 00:15:51,396 --> 00:15:52,987 ♪ Nothing can save you bat-at-at-at-at ♪ 425 00:15:52,987 --> 00:15:54,070 ♪ Reload ♪ 426 00:15:55,666 --> 00:15:56,567 Yo! 427 00:15:56,567 --> 00:15:57,817 Shut up, blood! 428 00:16:00,010 --> 00:16:00,843 I... 429 00:16:04,476 --> 00:16:05,780 I'm sorry for shouting. 430 00:16:05,780 --> 00:16:08,872 Listen, there's still plenty you don't know about me, yeah. 431 00:16:08,872 --> 00:16:10,588 Who am I kidding, anyway? 432 00:16:10,588 --> 00:16:12,440 Someone like you doesn't end up 433 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:13,811 with someone like me, so... 434 00:16:13,811 --> 00:16:15,317 I'm sorry for wasting your time, Miss Aitken. 435 00:16:15,317 --> 00:16:17,080 I'm not saying... 436 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,779 And, yo, Bromsgrove. 437 00:16:18,779 --> 00:16:20,420 Sorry for shouting, yeah. 438 00:16:20,420 --> 00:16:21,340 Yeah? 439 00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:24,117 You keep rhyming out here, all right? 440 00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,306 The man's gonna make a whole new album 441 00:16:26,306 --> 00:16:28,145 right out of this moment, yeah. 442 00:16:28,145 --> 00:16:31,062 I'm sure you will, MC Bromsgrove. 443 00:16:34,449 --> 00:16:36,369 Now that he's gone, does that mean you're single, yeah? 444 00:16:36,369 --> 00:16:37,214 Fuck off. 445 00:16:37,214 --> 00:16:38,831 Yeah, okay. 446 00:16:47,134 --> 00:16:48,585 Oh, that was sick! 447 00:16:48,585 --> 00:16:50,295 I didn't know you could throw like that. 448 00:16:50,295 --> 00:16:51,847 I could teach you how to do it. 449 00:16:51,847 --> 00:16:52,993 No, I'm wicked at Kerby. 450 00:16:52,993 --> 00:16:55,160 I'm the division champion. 451 00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:58,741 Yeah, I've found them. 452 00:16:58,741 --> 00:17:01,302 I heard they're gonna put Kerby in the Olympics in 2024. 453 00:17:01,302 --> 00:17:02,894 Where did you hear that from? 454 00:17:02,894 --> 00:17:04,167 It was on the internet, I think. 455 00:17:04,167 --> 00:17:05,705 You should play for Africa as well. 456 00:17:05,705 --> 00:17:06,672 Oh, wow. 457 00:17:06,672 --> 00:17:09,172 I'm gonna do it blindfolded. 458 00:17:14,891 --> 00:17:15,974 Eight, run. 459 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,189 Where have you been? 460 00:17:43,189 --> 00:17:44,590 Yo, listen, I've got something to show you. 461 00:17:44,590 --> 00:17:45,452 Have a look at this. 462 00:17:45,452 --> 00:17:46,285 It's gone. 463 00:17:46,285 --> 00:17:48,399 The video has gone from everywhere. 464 00:17:48,399 --> 00:17:49,960 Yes, I know, I had it taken down. 465 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:51,922 How are we supposed to monetize it now? 466 00:17:51,922 --> 00:17:52,925 "Monetize"? 467 00:17:52,925 --> 00:17:53,758 Yeah. 468 00:17:53,758 --> 00:17:55,471 I was speaking to this guy about selling merchandise. 469 00:17:55,471 --> 00:17:58,025 He had said he could get you on "Loose Women." 470 00:17:58,025 --> 00:18:00,059 Have you lost your mind, kid? 471 00:18:00,059 --> 00:18:02,550 You always said you wanted to meet Gloria Hunniford. 472 00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:04,200 But not like this. 473 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,420 We could have played this right and had money. 474 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,140 Lots of money. 475 00:18:09,140 --> 00:18:10,915 I'm sick of this. 476 00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:12,677 I've had enough of the internet. 477 00:18:12,677 --> 00:18:14,204 I'm not three years old. 478 00:18:14,204 --> 00:18:15,489 I can reach it. 479 00:18:15,489 --> 00:18:17,084 Can you calm down, you little psychopath. 480 00:18:17,084 --> 00:18:17,984 Sit down. 481 00:18:17,984 --> 00:18:19,171 No. 482 00:18:19,171 --> 00:18:21,136 Sit down, please. 483 00:18:21,136 --> 00:18:22,676 Thank you. 484 00:18:22,676 --> 00:18:23,509 Listen. 485 00:18:23,509 --> 00:18:26,356 What's with you and money, money, money all the time? 486 00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:27,830 Well, in case you haven't noticed, 487 00:18:27,830 --> 00:18:29,695 we haven't got any, have we? 488 00:18:29,695 --> 00:18:31,607 Have you got a roof over your head? 489 00:18:31,607 --> 00:18:32,455 Yes. 490 00:18:32,455 --> 00:18:33,896 Do we eat three meals a day? 491 00:18:33,896 --> 00:18:34,729 Yes. 492 00:18:34,729 --> 00:18:35,862 Do we have heating when it's cold? 493 00:18:35,862 --> 00:18:37,133 Well, you always tell me to turn it off. 494 00:18:37,133 --> 00:18:38,978 All right, don't answer me back. 495 00:18:38,978 --> 00:18:39,998 Listen, you're right. 496 00:18:39,998 --> 00:18:41,501 No, we haven't got loads of money. 497 00:18:41,501 --> 00:18:44,558 What I'm saying is we've got a lot more than most, Aqsa, 498 00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:45,836 so be grateful. 499 00:18:45,836 --> 00:18:48,442 Listen, as long as I've got you, 500 00:18:48,442 --> 00:18:50,431 I am more than happy with this life. 501 00:18:50,431 --> 00:18:51,713 Do you understand? 502 00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:53,272 Just me and you? 503 00:18:53,272 --> 00:18:54,105 Not her? 504 00:18:55,591 --> 00:18:56,961 Just me and you. 505 00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:58,036 Ah... 506 00:18:58,036 --> 00:18:59,466 And Eight and Nate as well. 507 00:18:59,466 --> 00:19:00,526 Obviously. 508 00:19:00,526 --> 00:19:03,256 I forgot I got one more birthday present for you. 509 00:19:03,256 --> 00:19:04,473 I hope you like it. 510 00:19:04,473 --> 00:19:06,175 This better not be another Groupon voucher 511 00:19:06,175 --> 00:19:08,338 for salsa dancing. 512 00:19:13,105 --> 00:19:14,635 So this means... 513 00:19:14,635 --> 00:19:16,983 Yeah, I'm your legal guardian. 514 00:19:16,983 --> 00:19:19,411 Come here. 515 00:19:19,411 --> 00:19:20,902 Come here, you. 516 00:19:20,902 --> 00:19:22,166 I love you, kid. 517 00:19:22,166 --> 00:19:24,197 How we gonna celebrate? 518 00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:25,841 Let's get the heating on. 519 00:19:27,197 --> 00:19:29,097 Yo, Eight, man, come on. 520 00:19:29,097 --> 00:19:32,793 Hey, can you stop banging the door, please? 521 00:19:32,793 --> 00:19:34,793 Hey, I'm at the door... 522 00:19:36,505 --> 00:19:37,991 Got a knife. 523 00:19:37,991 --> 00:19:38,824 Mother-- 524 00:19:38,824 --> 00:19:39,907 Whoa. 525 00:19:42,399 --> 00:19:43,932 Speak, you little fag. 526 00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:45,264 Tell him what Azaar said. 527 00:19:45,264 --> 00:19:48,681 Mobeen, he said next time it'll be Aks. 528 00:19:51,060 --> 00:19:53,143 See you around, Mobeen. 529 00:19:58,892 --> 00:20:01,142 See you around, sweetheart. 530 00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:09,572 Aqsa, don't. 531 00:20:09,572 --> 00:20:10,822 Don't come out. 532 00:20:15,543 --> 00:20:16,376 Mobes. 533 00:20:16,376 --> 00:20:17,527 Mobes, don't. 534 00:20:17,527 --> 00:20:18,360 Don't. 535 00:20:56,610 --> 00:20:59,277 They all come back in the end. 536 00:21:10,107 --> 00:21:13,707 Now go and take care of your business.